The dark

I’m not too sure how I feel about the dark. There’s some situations when sitting or lying down in the dark is the best thing ever. I personally hate sleeping with the light on, I need that bad boi off. One bit of light in the morning can mess up everything for me.

There’s other situations when the dark is the worst thing ever. Ever sat through a powercut? Those things are so annoying, no light because you have no access to power. None of it is your fault, you were just minding your own business and wham, out goes the light. I think the dark is perfect to rest in, no disturbances. But I think the dark is terrible to get things you need light for done. There’s something about resting in the dark that gives you an appreciation for the light. You know when the light is on it’s go time. The light tells you that this is the time to get up and get things done. The dark is a great place to hide things, because we need light to see. Hide and seek in the dark = epic. One thing about the dark that I have realised is that it always makes things seem bigger than they really are. You can be feeling your way in the dark for something and all of a sudden the room seems a lot bigger than it did when you had light.

I’m a firm believer in parallels in life. That there is a lesson in everything we live.

The dark offers us escapism. It entices us to stay hidden in our low times. The dark speaks to us and bombards us with lies about how no one cares about us or how no one will miss us if we were gone. It tells us that we are our mess ups and failures. It tells us to come deeper in to the darkness because the light is dangerous and wants to expose us. I know what it’s like to be in the dark. To be there and love it. To be there and want it. Even though you know it’s wrong. And at first it’s great, it’s escapism. But it’s not until you want the light you realise how dark the room is. Maybe your in the dark right now as you read this. Maybe you just wanted to get away from your problems and issues. Maybe you just don’t like who you are or what you have become. I get it. The dark means you don’t have to face yourself anymore. But as much you get away from looking in the mirror in the dark, you can’t get away from your soul. Your heartbeat. Your breathing. You.

You ain’t broken. You ain’t finished. You ain’t done. You aren’t what they did to you. You aren’t what you did. You are more than those things. But you will never see that in the dark. You need the light. The light give you sight so you can see that the mess isn’t as a bad as you think. The light gives you friends. People who will help you with the mess as well professionals who can help with it too.

The Light give you power. You realise the darkness isn’t more powerful than you. It was just absent of the light that is there for you.

For me in my darkest moments on this journey I have realised just how powerful the dark is. It’s pull. It’s draw. I have realised how easy it is to stay there. But I have also realised in my darkest moments, that a tiny bit light is life changing. That light is powerful and painful at the same time. When you have been sitting in the dark for so long after being in the dark, the light is painful and scary. But it is necessary so you can get out and live.

If you like me have lived in the dark or are living in the dark as you read this, you get me. You know what I’m talking about. Whatever your darkness is. You are loved. You are valuable. You are needed. Don’t let the darkness win. Fight your way to the light. So much awaits you. And if you don’t have the strength to do so. Open your mouth, someone is always near enough to come and help you.

I believe in the Light of the world. His name is Jesus. He never runs away or is moved by our darkness. His light extends to all of the places you feel most damaged and broken and unloveable and useable. The places that no one really knows about. Those parts of you that cause others to look down on you or run away are the very parts of you that God runs towards.

The dark will always feel like comfort, but it will only ever be containment. We were never supposed to live a life contained. Merely existing in darkness. We were supposed to be children of the light. Living in the lightness in view and weight of life.

Love, peace and chicken wings

MD

3 thoughts on “The dark

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