Something has shifted in me over the last year. I feel energised and have a strong desire to learn and know more. I am reading more, asking more questions and trying to strategise how I can maximise my life and potential. I’m committed to learning. Maybe it’s because I’ve failed personally. Maybe it’s since setting up my own business I’ve had to and it has sparked something in me. I’m not sure. What I have realised in this time is the importance of questions, and not being afraid to ask them. We live in an age and culture where people project as experts, this in turn causes people to perceive almost perfection from these individuals and a need for themselves to project too. This leads to imposter syndrome. Me asking myself the question do I really belong here? Do I belong in this room? Do I belong in this conversation? The truth is the greatest in any sphere or field stay hungry to learn more and more to stay at the top of their field but also because they are passionate about what they are doing. These people grow from asking questions. Whether that is directed to them or questions they are trying to answer. Why do I say this? Because we are all on different journeys and different levels on those journeys. Feeling like an imposter comes from our comparisons of the toilet of our lives to the trophy cabinets of others lives. Stop comparing. We are all learning, living and learning. Secondly ask questions and seek answers. The right question could open the right door that you have been searching for. Projecting we know everything is easy, admitting we know nothing is hard.
Here are a few things I’m learning about because I know nothing and I want to know something.
1. I’m learning about myself.
What do I really like? What do I really want? What are my dreams? What is holding me back from being the best version of me? Where do I want be ten years from now?
These are questions that so often we think we have nailed. But life can happen and shake all of that up. So I’m on a journey of self discovery. One that should never stop until I die. I am seeing a trauma psychotherapist because I want to understand is there anything that has happened to me that is the reason why I think or do. Why do I need to learn about myself? Because I don’t want to live my life for what other people think is best for me. I need to know cos I know myself. Living for the approval of others is suffocating and not the life we were designed to live. So what ever story they gave about you, let them give it. The people who know you, know you. And that’s what matters.
2. The world.
I have spent the best part of my life so far judging the world through the lens of its brokenness and failures rather than its ever changing landscape of beauty.
There are questions the world is asking that no one is answering. There are trends and patterns that not enough of us are trying to understand. Why do we need to? Because if we do not, our children will grow up in a world we do not understand and will be put off by our judgemental lens of “ I don’t really understand or appreciate what’s happening over there so I’ll just judge it as bad and keep me and my family over here” We cannot teach our children to live in a world that we do not and choose not to understand. The future of our generations depends on our hunger and passion to learn and shape the world in a positive way.
3. God. I’m learning that I have put God in boxes throughout my life and not even realised it. I think we all do this to a certain extent. Whatever you believe. You have a box in which everything fits. Box for love, one for family, one for work, one for money, one for God. We box our lives. What I’ve realised is that when life happens I realise I need God and I go to the box I put him in and he’s not there. I shake the box, turn it upside down. I scream and shout and cry in frustration to where God is and realise he’s not in my box. I’ve lost God. We then go on this journey of trying to rediscover or find God again. And when we do, it’s a fresh revelation of who he really is and we are amazed and live in the freedom of that and somehow, slowly but surely we begin to predict God and place him in a new box and get comfortable with him in a box. We end up thinking that God in a box brings us freedom in our comfortability of knowing where everything is in our lives when really comfortability is really containment in disguise. Why? Cos God don’t fit in a box. He doesn’t fit into your comfortable way of life, he’s way bigger and thinks on a different level to you and me. We live our lives with our God box thinking he’s chilling there but he’s outside of that doing his thing, what he wants, how he wants because he’s God. And when something doesn’t add up or go right in our lives we look in our box to shout at him and complain and he ain’t even in there. He lives outside of the box to encourage us to live outside of the box of life. Boxes limit us. They contain us. And they limit what God can do. I’m not saying boundaries are not good. They are great, they are important. They bring definition. But boxes bring limit and closure. I am committed therefore to a scary journey of faith. That is defined by him and not me.
So I have committed myself to questions in every area of my life. The right questions keep me safe. They protect me. They inform and elevate me.
For so long in my life I haven’t asked enough questions because I felt I had to be the expert. I now know I’ll never be the expert, just a little bit further ahead on the journey at best.
So I’m asking why, how and what specifically a whole lot more. I want to grow, I want to be a better man in every area of my life. I want to be the best version of me.
Here is a list of questions that one of the great thinkers and voices on leadership John Maxwell proposes we ask to learn more.
What is the greatest lesson you have learned? By asking this I seek their wisdom.
What are you learning now? This question allows me to benefit from their passion.
How has failure shaped your life? This question gives insight in to their attitude.
Who do you know whom I should know? This allows me to engage with their network.
What have you read that I should read? This question directs my personal growth.
What have you done that I should do? This helps me seek new experiences.
How can I add value to you? This shows my gratitude and desire to add value to them.
These questions are great questions I have begun to use and are opening parts of my world in a significant way. If your hungry to learn more feel free to use them and let me know what you think in the comments.
Love, peace and chicken wings